Posted by: kidlatanvillage | July 8, 2008

Let’s drink to that; a fight for the love of Britney and Paris

If my english is not good please bear with me…

Who does not admire the two most publicized celebrities all over the world like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton? Both are objects of males’ sex-fantasies. Among them (the most stupid one) are my friends who work in a construction company, and spend most of the time talking about their favorite celebrities on the job site. They always have stories and jokes to share with regards to their fantasizing Britney and Paris. They are the endless topics of discussions, jokes, and even causes of fights during drinking spree.

 “I love everything about Britney,” said mang Kulas, a mason at his mid forties. “If I can only kiss her and hug her for a while, I am ready to go (not clear if he means dying)”


“Go to what, comfort room?,” reflied Mang Ben.


“And what will you do at the comfort room with Britney in your mind?,” the younger Apin added.




Mga gago, ang dudumi ng isip ninyo (you malicious fool).


Laughter again, but this time it was louder.


“What mang Kulas said is that he is ready to go home na because Britney his wife is waiting for him,” Carling the foreman just said to prevent these men already drunk from causing  any trouble.


Mang Kulas finished his bottle of beer and left.


“Mang Kulas your wife is still taking a bath, hurry up and finish your business with Britney,” Martin shouted.


“Tarantado, manigas ka diyan (endure your erection stupid),” Mang Kulas shouted back to Martin.


Martin’s object of interest is Paris Hilton. He bought some magazines and cut Paris Hilton pictures and pasted it in his locker. My inspiration, he usually says. And there is a reason for that, his family is in the province and he is all alone in Manila to work. It’s so difficult for him to satisfy his sexual needs with his wife away. But his mother in law told him it is better that way so that he will not add more children to support. And Mang Kulas knows this.


 “That crazy monkey,” he murmured as he opened another bottle of beer.


Mang Ben shifted the topic to a sexy beer house dancer in Marcos Highway.


“She is young, full of energy…so hot and has kissable lips. Look at her sexy body, her medium size boobs, her soft skin and fair complexion… Why do you still look for Britney and Paris if you can have Bubbles overnight?”


“At ubos lahat ng kinita mo, may AIDS ka pa (and you will lose all your income and get AIDS in return).


“Nasarapan ka naman ( But you’ve got enjoyment too.),” Mang Ben countered.


“Ayaw ko diyan, masyadong gasgas na iyan. Magkatulo pa ako (I don’t like that slut she’s already overused. I might get an STD), Apin butted in.




“Kaya nga hindi ko ipinagpapalit sa iba si Paris, (that’s why I can’t trade my idol to any sexy woman).


“Siyanga? Baka putulan ka ng kaligayahan ng misis mo kapag nalaman iyang sinasabi mo (your wife might cut off your penis if she learns you are crazy with Paris).


Mang Carling almost lost his false teeth for laughing so hard.


“I don’t care, I love everything about Paris, I love the way she wears her pants, her shirt, her gown, her bikini, her panty,” Martin said imagining as if Paris is just around.


Apin, being so rude in manners, interrupted him.


“I don’t like Paris not wearing anything, I want to see her breasts, her vagina…”


But before he could add another statement, a strong upper cut (ala Pacquiao) hit him and immediately went to the floor like Diaz. Apin immediately stood up to hit back but other workers pacified them.


Security personnel came and brought the two to the guard house for investigation since the incident happened at the construction company’s territory.



  1. hi, ang cute ng tuta…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: